Ask Dr. Aisha: My Husband converted to Islam, now looking for a second wife, what should I do?
1:01 am on July 2, 2008 by Infidelesto
Ok, this one takes the cake. Here you have a female Muslim blogger who blogs here and also at today.com, answering a question from a concerned wide who’s husband just converted to Islam and now looking for an additional wife. Dr. Aisha explains to “Misty” how she needs to basically…deal with it.
But first Aisha claims, more than once she repeats:
“Im going to give you both sides, because I do not want to pick sides.”
Fair enough, I expected, as I read to see something from the other side of the argument, but sadly there was nothing but speaking in defense of the husbands desires, overall defense of polygamy and the defense of Mohammed and his marriage to a 6 year old.
Aisha then goes on to answer Misty’s question in complete defense of how her husband is “submitting fully and completely” to Islam and therefore should be supported in his beliefs.
This is very difficult if your spouse is not of the same faith.
You are fighting him against it, possibly in fear that he will try and force it on you.My suggestion is, if you love your husband, set aside your ego for a little while, and think if you come into something you knew in your heart was true, and he was against it, how would you feel.
When it comes to God, he is first, before spouses, and he is willing to loose you.
Are you as stunned as I am?
no, wait it gets better, check out her next line:
Islam is all about intention, and its not easy having more than one wife.
So now we should sympathize with polygamist Muslims for not “having it easy”?
Can a “moderate” Muslim please speak up and say something about this?
Please, spare the attacks on non-Muslims and constant defense of Islam. Spare the obscure comparisons to other religions and spare the pathetic rhetoric of your average so-called “moderate” Muslim. I want to hear a decent Muslim have the balls to stand up and attack this detestable way of life that is “sanctioned” in Islam.
It gets better, she even goes on to defend sex with children claiming that “it’s been that way for hundreds of years” and
“During the time when this country was founded, women were of age to be married at 6. Look it up, for yourself. The Prophet married Aisha when she was 7, and they consummated it, when she was 9.”
I would really like to know how many so called “moderate” Muslims look at what Aisha is saying and agree with her. If so there is a HUGE incompatibility of Islam with western society and specifically American culture, although most of us already believe that Islam is fundamentally incompatible with the documents written by our American founding fathers.
Read the rest of this sick and twisted way of life that Muslims try and defend as “normal” in todays society.
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Comment by Philip Saenz on 2 July 2008:
Men convert to Islam so that they can have more wives legally. As converts to Islam, there’s no more hiding for males when they visited brothel after brothel. They can now have their own legal brothel, and probably even save money. Polygamy is tantamount to legalized prostitution.
The Muslim Qur’an has this to say about marriage: “Marry what seems good to you of women, by twos, threes, or fours,” (Sura 4 Verse 3). So yes, Muslim males are allowed to have their own private brothel.
As a Muslim, a male can have better control of women: “Beat your wives if they commit sinful acts; women are captives of their husbands,” (From a Muslim document by Sunaan ibn Majah, 3.1855).
The filthy pedophile Muhammad gave permission to beat women.
Comment by Tonto (USA) on 2 July 2008:
Stupid pukes ain’t they? One woman is enough trouble for anybody but a complete idiot!
Comment by Rudy on 2 July 2008:
I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for a “moderate” muslim to say anything other than “It was halal for Muhammad, so it is halal for me, for allah has ordained it” or something along those lines.
Comment by anon on 2 July 2008:
Philip, you are spot on when you say that polygamy is tantamount to legalised prostitution! Polygamy sexually exploits and enslaves more women than prostitution does. It is certainly more degrading and humiliating than prostitution. Once the demand for polygamy is met, the next step will be child brides, neither of which can ever be tolerated any where in the civilized world.
Comment by Abdulmalik on 2 July 2008:
So please tell me what brothel worker(non-married) or mistress has rights to inherit from her husband? If you are Christian and educated then you should know that the majority of the Prophets had more than one wife; to that example Solomon, who is considered one of the wisest Prophets had over 1000. Many of the American founding fathers had not wives but had sex with many of their slaves. What in your mind makes that more correct than marriage?
God says in the Quran, the same verse that you quoted, that one is best for you. That being said, ultimately polygamy is not just to fulfill the loins of a man but to also prevent mistrust, potential orphans, and the dissolution of marriage. The permissibility of polygamy in fact is better for society in all.
Let’s look at some scenarios.
Right now women out number men approx. 5 to 1 in America and some other countries 10 to 1 or more. So you are telling me that it is more righteous for me to marry one woman and then cheat on her with no obligation to take care of the woman that I am being unfaithful too? What if she gets pregnant? I should wash my hands clean too, because I am not married to her? No, your view, is I should just divorce my wife and marry someone else and cause bitterness in what may have been a great woman and leave my children.
Now I understand, polygamy is not for everyone, and as a Muslim man, I am more than content being married to my wife and I have no desire to take on another. That being said I do believe that PART of this new “lesbian” revolution could also be fixed by allowing polygamous marriages. Let’s be honest, for a lot of women, becoming lesbian was a fad…it was an outlet from a failed marriage, boyfriend, or man that they cheated with who would not leave his wife. And I am not saying that polygamy would eradicate female homosexuality because for some people it is not a fad, it is a condition of birth, however, I do believe that it would diminish it.
Lastly, in a polygamous marriage, not only are the women to be treated as equally as possible, but their children are also taken care of. We live in a society now that almost glorifies absentee fathers. As a society we have then have to take care of children through a somewhat corrupt welfare system at the expense of an irresponsible man. Note, that I am only speaking from an Islamic point of view. Other views of polygamy are not associated with the Islamic view.
The Islamic view of polygamy is that first there is equally and we all know that it is virtually impossible to be equitable, but it can be done. Women have their own rights. If I am married and I did not want my husband to take a second wife and it was included within my contract, that is grounds for divorce. The benefit of polygamy is more so for the women anyway; they get help with their children if they have them, they are taken care of by the means of shelter, clothing, and food. If they work, they can keep their own money and they do not have to worry about their husband being unfaithful. There are other things like having rights to inheritance and other things.
Ultimately, how can anyone dispute the benefits to society regarding polygamy unless you choose to want to stay in a state of a sinful society. If a man is willing to take on the responsibility and is doing it within the guidelines the we should rejoice. There are some women who are not willing to deal with it and that is their right but I would encourage them to try before they jump ship because ultimately they will find that the benefit is greater for them from the other wife, their husband, and most importantly, Allah!
Just to note: The legal age of consent in America during the time of our founding fathers was 7 years of age and was changed to 10 in the late 1800. Here is an article that discusses this. So the fact the Prophet(SAWS) consummated his marriage to Aisha(RA) when she was 9 1100 years before 10 years of age was an actual law shows profound wisdom. It seems to me that is this society everything wrong is practiced and supported and everything correct is condemned.
Comment by aishaladon on 2 July 2008:
Wow, my husband( abdulmalik) is so smart.Thats why I marriaed him. Not for his bling, or rims, or all the money he makes at work.
Thanks for responding, my love.
And per your request for others to respond, I too have asked people I know to respond, with their wisdom as well.
Perhaps I should have my uncle ,a Christian pastor to respond as well, that would be very interesting.
If there were a woman that needed a husband and she could have one like mine, I would wish the same for her, and consider sharing him with her.
Oh, yeah I did that a few years ago. He said No. I cant handle the responsibility, and would not be able to be just and treat her with the same amount of love I have for you.
more on that is here
http://americanmuslimah.today.com/2008/07/02/in-repsonce-to-infadels-are-cool-and-comments-posted/
Comment by aishaladon on 2 July 2008:
Im sure if you were to ask women that are sleeping with a married man, if that would consider being married to him, and the other women they would say yes.
They have more rights in a marriage, especially under the eyes of God, than they would as a mistress, no body.
And if a woman has a husband, would she rather be divorced, left with children, and no support, than to salvage what she does have.
Or she can be single and struggle, and go on welfare.
Im sure Bush would even like wat Islam has to offer as a solution.
So tell me again, what does man get out of this.
Sex, thats right.
Is it worth it? ask any man Im sure he will say NO !
Unless he is looking for more than that, which Muslim men are.
Comment by aishaladon on 2 July 2008:
As you mention on your about page, this is a war with Islam. Thats sad. A war against an entire people Muslims.
At least your honest, bush keeps saying a war against terrorism.
So I have a question, when you are at war with a people, do they have a right to defend them self?
I challenge you to start a blog, about the positive things about Muslims, specifically Muslims in America, or American Muslims such as myself.
Islam is growing as a religion, and you can longer fool people with scar tactics, people are not stupid.
You will never see Muslims rage aware against Christians or Jews, as a religion. Perhaps with a country that happens to have that religion. but you will not find Muslims saying kill all the Christians or Jews, fight them we are at war with them, as you find Americans with Muslims.
Your war is with Muslim, are they in your country with tanks and killing you innocent women and children , or shooting people as they pray at church. NO !
Why not, Its against Islam !
Comment by Infidelesto on 2 July 2008:
“As you mention on your about page, this is a war with Islam. ”
Don’t lie…
Never did I say this is a war on Islam. READ IT…
It’s a war on RADICAL ISLAM and POLITICAL ISLAM. Did I ever call for the genocide of all Muslims? NEVER
This blog is about defending American values, Western values, Judeo-Christian values and overall decency of mankind…
When you condone polygamy and we criticize it, it’s not a “scare tactic”. You are a liar, Aisha. You don’t belong in America. Your values will prevail here.
Comment by Rudy on 2 July 2008:
We did not start the war. Nor is it a war with all muslims. Just against those that use terror, following the example of muhammad, who himself proclaimed “I am made victorious through terror.”
The US did not invade and occupy North Africa, Spain, Indonesia, Iran (formerly Zoroastrian Persia). Islam did that, starting in the 8th century, and stayed in Europe for over 700 years. But islam is peaceful, and about tolerance, right?
I see muslims every day waging war in Christians, Jews, Hindu and Buddhists, and even other muslims. Look in the news today and you see some Palestinian took a bulldozer and killed 3 Israeli Civilians, crushing them in their cars or running them over. Look at Lebanon, where you have Shiites (hizbullah) occupying Sunni neighborhoods and killing Sunnis, Christian and Druze. Or Gaza where every day rockets are launched, even after Hamas calls a truce. And how about Iran where people who convert from islam are jailed, tortured and threatened with death? All those examples can be found in muslim/arab news sources, so don’t try to lie and deflect the blame to biased western media.
And yes muslims are blowing up churches in Africa while people are inside,shooting teenaged students at Seminaries in Israel, and killing Coptic Christians in Egypt for simply being Christian. You can read any newsfeed you like and find those stories. Or you can even find them summarized here.
your hubby abdulmalik is a flat out liar, or an imbecile who cannot count or read a census report, in his claim about the ratio of women to men being 5 to 1
http://www.census.gov/prod/2003pubs/p20-544.pdf
But I guess his attempt at taqiyya makes him smart in your eyes.
Comment by aishaladon on 2 July 2008:
Apparently I do belong here.
My ancestors were brought here as slaves.
I did not ask to be here, but I am spreading the word of Islam to those without knowledge. And the majority of Converts are American such as myself, 6 years now. Alhumdulilah.
If you have money to send me a ticket, with pleasure I would leave, as well as many other African Americans.
Allah is the best of all judges, and on the day of resurrection we will all be accountable for our actions, regardless of Faith.
Comment by anon on 2 July 2008:
Abdulmalik
Whether polygamy was sanctioned by God or Allah or Buddha,or prophet or any other divine being, it has no place in the civilized world where men and women are equal before the eyes of the law. In any event, this is not a debate in comparative religions but rather Islamic family values, namely; polygamy which allegedly, was given divine sanction for the benefit of Muslim men only. By equality we mean, equal in every respect. In the modern world, women are as free as men to develop their full human potential with or without a male or female partner. They are free to develop their relationships, which if proven unsatisfactory, have an equal right to free themselves of the partnership. A given ratio of women outnumbering men is 5:1, albeit total nonsense, is again irrelevant. In the modern world, women have the same potential to look after themselves as men and so the harem or brothels are the domain of the back street pimps who prey mainly on vulnerable and otherwise immature young girls/women for gain. As for the pedophiles: normal, grown men do not have a sexual interest in children, that is why they are called pedophiles, a sexual deviancy and is a serious criminal offense. As for the inheritance, a woman share: equals half that of a man- Sura 4:11. One can only guess how that works out in a polygamous set up: assuming that the woman is still a part of the harem.
Islam is, among other things: a misogynist creed and has no concept of morality whatsoever. Tabari 1X: 113 “…Treat women well for they are like domestic animals and possess nothing themselves. Allah had made the enjoyment of their bodies lawful in his Koran”.
Islam is among other things: offensive to the human dignity of women, and cannot be defended or tolerated in the civilized world.
Comment by aishaladon on 2 July 2008:
I came to repsond to your post but I do not see it here.
While it is regrettable that slavery was once practiced here in the United States, what say you about the slavery practiced here in the Middle East?
I think slavery anywhere is wrong. Im not saying that there are not Muslims doing horrible acts. What I am saying is that this not the majority of Muslims. Islam is a religion of peace, what mans interpretation or actions are, does not mean that is what the religion truly is.
I simply told Misty to read up on Islam, and challenge her husband about his actions that he says he believes in, and perhaps in reading about Islam she may be able to break ground with him. Ask what his intentions are. You responded to my blog harshly. I never said I was a doctor or had all the answers.
I simply answered the question of someone wanting to know if her husband could take another wife. I simply told her, perhaps its because she is so against Islam, and knows nothing about it.
I read recently in the Kuwait Times about several brothels being shut down in Mangaf and Salwa neighboorhoods. Both were owned by muslims who lure the girls here on promise of jobs as maids or secretaries, then take their passports and force them into prostitution. Refusal usually means being sent home, if lucky, or being beaten and possibly killed. My ancestors were also slaves, in Central America, but I do not ask for a hand out to go back to where I came from. Why do you? If you want money for a plane ticket, work and earn it.
I did not ask for a hand out. If I wanted to go back I would, but unfortunately where is back. African American have not heritage or country to go back to . I was being sarcastic. Perhaps you know what country my ancestors are from. Perhaps you know my original language. I do not. Im not pulling a race card. You are no more American than I am.
But you say I dont belong here, so where is it that you think I belong? Im sure you are here by choice. Not enslavement. Many people tell blacks go back to Africa, but you know what. Mst of us did not buy a ticket to come here in the first place.
You are spreading the word about islam? Then we have something in common, because so are we. Only we are not using taqiyya to mislead people. I bear you no ill will, but you do have my pity, for you have been deceieved, as have hundreds of millions who believe muhammad was anything other than a pedophile
, a robber of caravans, a cold blooded killer, and a liar.
Im sorry to hear that you have such harsh feelings about the prophet ( peace upon him) but only Allah knows the truth and on the day of resurrection so will we.
Comment by aishaladon on 2 July 2008:
Whether polygamy was sanctioned by God or Allah or Buddha,or prophet or any other divine being, it has no place in the civilized world where men and women are equal before the eyes of the law.
Men and women are equal before Allah, so are you telling me that if a woman has stated that she wants to be a co-wife she should not be allowed to. Are we not free to make our own choices.
Gay marriage is legal here in CALIFORNIA. if it bothers people than dont marry people of the same sex, if it does not affect you, and those people made that choice, do they not have that right.
In any event, this is not a debate in comparative religions but rather Islamic family values, namely; polygamy which allegedly
Actually that is not what this is about, I suggest you go back to the beginning.
By equality we mean, equal in every respect. In the modern world, women are as free as men to develop their full human potential with or without a male or female partner. They are free to develop their relationships, which if proven unsatisfactory, have an equal right to free themselves of the partnership.
I totally agree.
A given ratio of women outnumbering men is 5:1, albeit total nonsense, is again irrelevant.
it is relevant, and by the way thats a world population ratio not just the US. Many men marry women from other countries, because of the lack of moral of women in this country.
It is relevant because allowing those who would like to live a polygamous life, will stop a lot of welfare, single women, and children with o father.
In the modern world, women have the same potential to look after themselves as men and so the harem or brothels are the domain of the back street pimps who prey mainly on vulnerable and otherwise immature young girls/women for gain.
I would agree, but it depends on where you live. Here in the US, yes. But in many countries women are not given the rights that Islam offers, and unfortunately being Muslim does not always guarantee that either. Thats government corruption, not religious corruption. That is men, not God.
Even if the prophet has one wife. If God says it is permissible, it does not matter if I agree with it. And based on all religious scriptures. YES ALL. It is permissible, and it is something that women make a decision if they want to live that way or not. Its a choice.
As for the pedophiles: normal, grown men do not have a sexual interest in children, that is why they are called pedophiles, a sexual deviancy and is a serious criminal offense.
So are the founding fathers of this country pedophiles simply because laws have changed. There are 5 states where age of consent is still 12. and back in the early 1900s it was 7.
Im not talking about than. We are not talking about child brides. Misty is a grown woman in her 30’s. We are talking about todays society.
As for the inheritance, a woman share: equals half that of a man- Sura 4:11. One can only guess how that works out in a polygamous set up: assuming that the woman is still a part of the harem.
there are no harams, and that is inheritance from the father, not the husband. And that is a minimum amount obligated to be given to her. More can be given if the father likes. But the reason for that only applies if she has brothers, who than are responsible for her financially until she marries. Makes a lot of since to me.
Islam is, among other things: a misogynist creed and has no concept of morality whatsoever. Tabari 1X: 113 “…Treat women well for they are like domestic animals and possess nothing themselves. Allah had made the enjoyment of their bodies lawful in his Koran”.
This is not the Quran. Please check you facts.
Whether polygamy was sanctioned by God or Allah or Buddha,or prophet or any other divine being, it has no place in the civilized world where men and women are equal before the eyes of the law. In any event, this is not a debate in comparative religions but rather Islamic family values, namely; polygamy which allegedly, was given divine sanction for the benefit of Muslim men only. By equality we mean, equal in every respect. In the modern world, women are as free as men to develop their full human potential with or without a male or female partner. They are free to develop their relationships, which if proven unsatisfactory, have an equal right to free themselves of the partnership. A given ratio of women outnumbering men is 5:1, albeit total nonsense, is again irrelevant. In the modern world, women have the same potential to look after themselves as men and so the harem or brothels are the domain of the back street pimps who prey mainly on vulnerable and otherwise immature young girls/women for gain. As for the pedophiles: normal, grown men do not have a sexual interest in children, that is why they are called pedophiles, a sexual deviancy and is a serious criminal offense. As for the inheritance, a woman share: equals half that of a man- Sura 4:11. One can only guess how that works out in a polygamous set up: assuming that the woman is still a part of the harem.
Islam is, among other things: a misogynist creed and has no concept of morality whatsoever. Tabari 1X: 113 “…Treat women well for they are like domestic animals and possess nothing themselves. Allah had made the enjoyment of their bodies lawful in his Koran”.
This is not the Quran , please check your facts
http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/reference/searchquran.html
Islam is among other things: offensive to the human dignity of women, and cannot be defended or tolerated in the civilized world.
If so,why are so many American women converting to Islam based mainly because of the respect and status they are given?
Why is it that free thinking, intelligent American women are converting to Islam, and not men. If it so degrades women.
Comment by aishaladon on 2 July 2008:
So you are saying we have no right to convert to Islam?
Sounds like great freedom to me.
Well she did, and she will tell you why.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kZSD7lwWAbQ
Comment by Philip Saenz on 2 July 2008:
Abdulmalik, you’re really wet. Where in the world did you find the number that women outnumber men 5 to 1 in America? That’s insane. They’re almost evenly divided. I didn’t read the rest of your letter because I knew that you were using the Muslim Taqiyya.
Abdulmalik, we’re not arguing about what happened thousands of years ago. And this goes for the rest of you. We cannot repair what happened thousands of years ago. We’re interested in the present where injustice abounds. Let’s repair the injustice that’s going on NOW. Just because men thousands of years ago had several prostitutes as wives, doesn’t mean that present day men should have them, too. Abdulmalik, for example, let’s see if we can stop old Muslim lechers from “marrying” eight and nine year old little girls and then raping them. Do think these little aren’t horrified?
I can’t go into it too much, but I and my three hundred warriors destroyed 6,000 thugs that were kidnapping little girls and little boys everyday, and then doing pretty much what old Muslim thugs are doing to little girls today. We killed the SOBs. Yes, 6,000 plus. They’ll never kidnap again. The difference is that Muslim thugs are getting away with it, but the thugs that we fought only a few years ago didn’t get away with it. Let’s fight against injustice that’s going on NOW, and do something about it if we can. Forget the distant past. We cannot undo what happened many years ago.
Just because men sinned in the distant past doesn’t give license to thugs of the present, who are committing atrocities against little children. Yes, those damn prophets were sinning, and the True God condemned such sins. Remember? God said: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Those evil prophets were committing adultery.
Incidentally, the thugs that we destroyed would sometimes murder the little children after raping them, and then drink their blood. They were demonic. If you’re a good Muslim, Abdulmalik, you’re not practicing your religion. Read all the historical Muslim records, and you’ll discover that the very evil Muslims are the authentic Muslims. If you’re a nice Muslim, you’re probably more like Jesus Christ than like the pedophile, child molester Muhammad. So if you’re more like Jesus Christ, why associate yourself with the evil contained in the historical records of Islam? In your heart, why don’t you just say that you are a follower of Jesus Christ? Are you meek and humble? So was Jesus Christ. Are you honest? So was Jesus Christ. If you are nice, you ARE NOT AT ALL LIKE MUHAMMAD!!!
Comment by Rudy on 2 July 2008:
Philip,
Amen brother. Amen. And thank you for your service.
Comment by aishaladon on 2 July 2008:
Sorry my name is not Abdul thats my husband, inshallah he can respond to your post.
No, Im not talking about things that happen thousands of years ago, not am I talking about things that go on outside of the U.S.
There are many horrific things that go in many places, they have nothing to do with Islam. Just because a person that is Muslim does bad things, does not mean it is what a religion teaches.
So if bad things go on in the U.S. is it a Christian thing, because this is a Christian thing, NO, it does not.
Anyways this is how things get twisted. You will not find anywhere within my posts nor in the teaching of Islam that condone child kidnapping, nor rape, nor forced marriages.This is not Islam.
The quote that you quoted earlier is not from the Quran either.
Please find it, and tell me the Chapter and ayah number.
You can not. Because Allah, never said this.
Perhaps it was a radical Muslim, which everyone is against, even Muslims.
CA has legalized gay marriage, you will not find Muslims saying oh those Christians or what ever, no.
Instead of arguing with me, if God has permitted more than one wife. Which is in the Bible and Quran, perhaps you should be spending your time arguing with extreme Muslims that do the horrible acts that you mention.
Or even better, make our own country a better place instead of worrying about laws that you can not change in a country where you have no legal authority in.
What about the child prostitution fad we now have in our own country, why are you not targeting these people. They are right there on myspace. I dont see you blogging about that.
No, you r concern is about another country when you have problems in your own country.
How can you judge another place, and tell them they life style is wrong, when we can not get our own under control.
Once again, I do not agree with any of these going on, but where is it that I fall into place equal or even close to equal with them?
Comment by Sheik Yer Bouti on 2 July 2008:
Everything Mohammed did about 1500 years ago must be right. It says so in the Koran and we’re just not paying attention.
Of course in the 21st century in North America we infidels just don’t get it. We’d probably insist he be put on medication and be incarcerated. So it’s only fair that we’re not going to heaven and getting our share of all those virgins.
Comment by anon on 3 July 2008:
Tabari 1X: 113 “Treat women well for they are like domestic animals and possess nothing themselves. Allah has made the enjoyment of their bodies lawful in the Koran”
It is astonishing that aishaladon does not seem to recognise, much less acknowledge the above Sunnah, as recorded and incorporated in the collection of Hadiths and recognised by the four main schools of Islamic jurisprudence. The Hadiths are the second source from which the teachings of Islam are drawn and are considered to be of such importance that without them, one cannot understand the Koran or be able to apply it to one’s life. Yet she claims to be a practising Muslim! Either her knowledge or understanding of Islam is totally superficial or she is practising tayiyya (deception) which is also acceptable in Islam to further it’s cause.
With respect to gay marriages, this is a union between to consenting adults, is monogamous and legal in the free democratic West. It cannot be compared in any way to polygamy found in Islam.
Paedophilia in abomination, a sickness of mind and spirit. As already mentioned it is considered a serious criminal offence straight across the civilized world. It cannot under any circumstances be justified by reference to any text divine or otherwise.
Freedom of religion is guaranteed in the US, as it is elsewhere in the free world, for both men and women. As such one is free to leave one’s religion and convert to any or no religion at all and revert back again to any or no religion at all. This neither take from or adds to the fact, that Islam attacks the human dignity of women in particular.
Finally, all people living in the West have a duty to respect its secular laws, its values and its freedoms or consider the alternative. At the end of the day, they are free to immigrate to any number of Muslim countries where Sharia operates. However, what they do not have a right to do is to use religion, in a bid to subvert its democratic laws in order to implement Sharia law in any shape or form. Sharia is not only benighted but a barbaric system and has been the cause of untold and heinous, human rights abuses around the world.
Comment by Omar on 4 July 2008:
In polygamous societies, the man does not pledge his loyalty to his wife and the wife has no right to expect it. This simple fact poisons virtually everything - the relationships between men and women, the relationships between women, and ultimately the relationships between men as well.
It’s no accident that societies which permit polygamy are universally the least civil and the least free. In judeo-christian terms (that is, in terms which recognize a universal principle of ethics) it is, at its foundation, a violation of the Golden Rule.
Here’s a good article explaining the very damaging dynamics of polygamous societies:
” . . . What qualities do we find in societies that tolerate polygamy? First, the shortage of women usually leads to the institution of the “bride price,” where a young man must pay a sizable sum of money to the bride’s family in order to obtain a wife. (The “dowry,” in which a sum is attached to an eligible daughter to make her more attractive, is purely a product of monogamy.) This makes wives difficult to obtain for men who come from less well-to-do families.
The numerical imbalance between eligible males and females also forces older men to court younger women. Girls in their teens are often betrothed to men ten and fifteen years their senior. In some South Seas societies, infant females are betrothed to grown men. These strained couplings make marriage itself a distant and unrewarding relationship, far different from the “peer marriages” of Western and Oriental cultures.
Finally, polygamy tends to produce a high level of male violence. Because low-status males are not assured any reasonable chance of mating by the social contract, they are essentially impossible to incorporate into the larger work of society. Instead, they form themselves into violent gangs or become the foot soldiers of extremist political groups. In Pakistan, the recent news has been that the country is being overrun by these violent gangs, which have become the competing “parties” in the country’s turbulent political system. The head of one of these factions was recently accused of raping dozens of airline stewardesses . . . .
[snip]
It is probably not too alarmist to note that societies that have been unable to establish monogamy have also been unable to create working democracies or widely distributed wealth. No society that domesticates too few men can have a stable social order. People who are incapable of monogamy are probably incapable of many other things as well. . . .”
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1282/is_n19_v45/ai_14667429/pg_13?tag=artBody;col1
Comment by aishaladon on 5 July 2008:
as I said the statement about women and animals is not Quran, which is what was stated. it is a fabricated hadith.
and one does not have to have hadith to practice islam, what one needs is the sunnah. hadith and sunnah are different.
and one must be a hadith scholar and verify the chain of narration for validity. this has been done. hadith are from men not allah, and if they contradict with what allah says they are invalid.
before you quote quran and hadith please be a student of them. yes there is shariah, but are you aware of fiqh and sciences of Quran. No, you are mis informed and quote to fit your desires just as extremist do, but yet you are better than them.
Comment by anon on 5 July 2008:
Either Aishaladon’s knowledge or understanding of Islam is totally superficial or she is practising tagiyya (deception) in the hope that the non Muslims are ignorant and gullible. But either way; she has lost her credibility and everything she says should be either ignored or taken with a pinch of salt. As the saying goes: you can fool some of the people some of the time, but not all the people all the time!
Comment by Selli on 9 August 2008:
I think you are deceiving yourself. A muslim man wanting another wife has in fact already left, and is already dreaming about more of everything else, across the garden fence, get out while you still have some sanity left, there are stil good pepole in the world still, and less in your groups than anywhere else as they absolutely do not really care about anybody but themselves, whatever they call it. This includes their women that willingly brake up marriages vailed and all the rest of it. There is a great selfishness among the polygamist thinkers in 2008, you cannot possibly compare it to any other age, we are not in the dark ages and people know the difference between good and bad. They are just like any man or woman that want to get rid of responsible relationships because they are demanding, and will find new and new relationships to make life seem easier for themselves. Its like going to a new movie to them, feelings does not come into it..that is other than own feelings and excuses. Kind and decent muslims with some depth of character do not practise this awful old tradition. Can you really see any difference with this and prostitution, I can hardly see any such difference. And would the woman marry a poor, marrried man..no they all go for th emoney whereever they can get it wit hno thought for th eother real wife in teh relationship, there is always an exception to refer to. They will betray their wife for anybody healthier, younger, prettier and anybody with money. I speak of some experience. Just open eyes and get out. (You find this type of men in any religion, but at least the other does not support it!)
Your husband i snot wise, he has probably a psychopathic charater to some degree unable to relate to real relationships and stay faithful, he may be insecure of himself as a man, in denial of health, and just generally unable to empathise with other than himself, a selfish unstable person. Is this what you really want and need in a serious relationship that marriage should be.