A palate cleanser from a friend who emails:
Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science Discovered
Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified with certainty the heaviest element known to science.
The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Related posts:
- Another Mass Grave Discovered in Iraq
- Saudi puts out response to Fitna movie called “Schism”
- Egyptian scientist called an apostate by islamists, for receiving science award
- Buy your own Nuclear Reactor
- Israel: More Holes Discovered in Goldstone Report
- Terrorist training camps discovered in Southern India
- India: Rabbi among dead hostages discovered at Jewish centre in Mumbai
- Another Christian Priest murdered in Iraq
- Iran: dean of morality sexually harrasses female student; female student arrested
- Mohammed tops list of boys’ names in UK
